Art: Rinny Riot (buy the print)
A few years ago, I had this really interesting conversation with a friend about the evils of getting off with the help of vibration, and afterwards I decided to wean myself off of my vibrator.
It was really liberating. After years of feeling like a slave to the pulsations of my little pink bullet, it was a totally different experience to be able to bring myself to orgasm without the use of a battery-operated device. It felt more intimate, more full-bodied. I vowed to never use vibrators again.
But recently, after much thought and consideration. . . I bought a vibrator. And it’s completely changed some limiting beliefs I’ve been holding about self-pleasure.
One of the lies I bought into during my no-vibrator time was that the best kind of orgasm was the one you give yourself with your own fingers, without the use of an aid like a vibrator. That belief is dangerous; I see that now and am grateful to be in a different place when it comes to accessing my pleasure.
But there are still a surprising number of “sex-positive” teachers and educators who are teaching otherwise.
This kind of hierarchy when it comes to sexual pleasure is a trap that I’ve fallen into in my sexual liberation journey and it’s something that I’m still trying to unlearn today.
So. . . to bring to light a harmful and completely untrue notion that sex toys aren’t the best way to sexual enlightenment, and to also celebrate the many beautiful, playful ways of accessing sexual pleasure, I had a conversation Amy Boyajian of Wild Flower Sex Shop to talk all about sex toys—specifically, how they can be used in the same sacred way, with the same kind of ritual and intention, as an Amethyst dildo.
“If you can’t climax from just your hand, that’s fine. Accessing your orgasm and accessing pleasure is sacred.”
LINKS AND REFERENCES—
- America Has An Extremely Disturbing Sex Toy Problem
- What Wild Flower stands for
- Sex Q&A
- Amy’s sex toy recommendations: her favorite vibrator, dildo, butt plug, and lube