Reader Question: Sexual Frigidity & “Pushing His Hands Away”


(Note: Occasionally, I get a question from a reader that is compelling enough to become its own article. This is one of those questions.)

“Dear Ev`Yan,

I have never had an orgasm with a guy before. I do not like guys touching my vagina. I don’t know why. I just can’t get comfortable with them touching me there. My poor boyfriend. He really doesn’t like how I push his hands away when he tries to pleasure me. I know it bothers him. I have no issues giving blow jobs and doing anything for the guy, but when it comes to me, no way.

I barely like touching myself anymore. I used to enjoy sex, and now… I barely ever get horny. It’s extremely frusterating and sad. I think my emotions are playing a decent part in this.

I’ve looked up things on the internet, I’ve read books. I enjoy porn, and that used to get me going, but not so much anymore.

Has anyone else ever had this problem?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”



Dearest Amber,

What you’re describing is, by definition, what it means to be “sexually frigid,” a term that I completely dislike but am using anyway to put a word to what it is you’re going through.

Read More

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