The Lie of Femininity


I came into this world on the fifteenth of September in the year of the rabbit. I was born a girl.

With my birth came ideas & belief systems that were set to define who I was. Most of these views were bestowed upon me without my permission. The essence of my gender was one of them.

From a very young age, I was taught consistently & subliminally about what it means to be a girl, to the point where it became second nature. The Disney films, fairy tales, & depictions of women in the media gave me a good definition of what femininity was. It also showed me what femininity wasn’t.

It wasn’t grass stains or bug catching. It wasn’t action figures or video games. It wasn’t dirt underneath fingernails or combat boots. It wasn’t disheveled or uncouth. It wasn’t callouses or splinters. & it certainly wasn’t the color blue.

No, the definition of Female was shaved legs, long hair, sitting with legs crossed, & cleavage. It was Barbies, being a princess for Halloween, & the color pink. It was the anticipation of being rescued by Prince Charming & eventually being a mother. It was dainty, cute, elegant, delicate.

All of those things were expected of me the moment my parents knew that their first born was to be a girl. Before I even took my first breath, the classification of my sex was already in place.

Read More

My Personal Collection of Things I Find Erotic

As the excitement of Lady Porn Day dies down, I am left with feelings of enthrallment & pride. Enthrallment for this amazing & positive movement that was started by Rabbit White; pride in myself (& in you) for coming forward with such honest stories & provoking a stereotype-shattering conversation about women, porn, & masturbation. I… Read More

On Women & Pornography

For all of my life, since I was old enough to understand it, I’ve heard the phrase “Men are visual creatures.” I’ve heard these four words used to justify men’s tendencies to look at other women in desire, for wishing their spouses would lose a little weight, & especially for men’s preferences in viewing pornography.… Read More

Jilling Off

On the telephone with my boyfriend in the middle of the night, underneath a steaming hot, green comforter was when I discovered masturbation. I was fifteen years old. I cannot recall how it happened or what was said to provoke the conversation, but while talking on the phone late one night, as my parents slept… Read More

© 2018 Ev'Yan Whitney. All rights reserved.