Every woman should have a place of her own, a place that is all theirs, a place that they can go to to rest, relax, regenerate. Every woman must have this space, especially the wild, sexually liberated woman, for this place is her creative cave, her love nest, her sacred sanctuary where she can retreat to create or think or rest or paint or dream.
I have such a place. I call it my Goddess Space.
I created it on the eve of my big hiatus from work; a hiatus where, when before entering, I felt disconnected, despondent, and out of sync with my self, and when I exited, I regained creative consciousness, my sense of self, and my purpose in this world.
So my Goddess Space, this room of my own, is quite powerful, I think.
Having this space of my own to retreat to has been paramount in my practices in unearthing my wildish, sensual, intuitive, feminine self. It is a a safe haven where I can retreat to and in, and shut away the rest of the world for a few moments to become one with myself.
In this space I have gemstones, dried flowers, and altars to mantras and Goddesses I hold dear. I practice my divination here, I soul collage here, I meditate and pray and journal journal here. I conduct all calls with my clients here, too, as I feel that the atmosphere harnesses my ability to “speak from between my legs and write from womb.”
I have blessed this area with my wishes and curiosity and the magic that gets conjured when I allow myself to go deep within. In my space, I have birthed ideas and poetry. I have let things burn. I have cried and laughed and sighed heavily. I have especially come face to face with the essence of my being, for this is a space that helps spur realizations of greatness and power I have within me.
I’ll say it again: I think every woman needs their own sacred space—a room, a closet, a corner, a haven.
Somewhere, anywhere, that is all theirs, where they can decorate and curate and contemplate, where they can allow themselves the freedom to unfurl and undo if they wish.
How to Create Your Own Sensual Fort
1. Pick your space. Is there an area in your home that is going unused?—a closet, a blank wall, an alcove, a crawl space? Is there a room in your apartment that is more of a catch-all than anything else? Or a space where, each time you pass it you think, What I could do with this. . .? Then that is your space.
It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t even have to have a door or be in a room. It could be a spot above your dresser or a corner in your bedroom. It could even be in your basement or your attic or your laundry room. It doesn’t matter where it is, really, just as long as it can be easily transformed into your sacred space. (Bonus if it has natural light, electric sockets, and room to move around in.)
2. Gather up all of your most beloved items; things that you’ve collected along the years, things that tickle your fancy and incite feelings of nostalgia, delight, and joy. Things like flower petals from bouquets, seashells from that trip you took to the ocean when you were little, the string of pearls you never wear but you’ve held onto them for some reason.
Also: postcards from old friends, love notes from your beloved, a photo of yourself that captures the essence of your vibrancy and the infiniteness of your spirit; old fortunes from fortune cookies, rocks and gemstones, twigs and moss and feathers (you can never, ever go wrong with bringing in bits of nature), and more.
Don’t have any of these things? Go on a nature walk or to your favorite vintage store and hunt for things you can invest in for your special space. Be on a lookout for the things that produce a lilt in your heart, that put a smile on your face. Even if the things are small, even if to someone else having this one thing would be ridiculous, gather it anyway. Trust your heart and your first impulse when picking these things, too. The soul knows.
3. Gather your creative tools. Your very best pens and barely written in journals; paints and blank canvases; colored pencils and a sketchpad; your grandfather’s old Smith and Corona and a book of poetry that inspires you. Also: magazines, clippings, glues, scissors, and a composition notebooks; beads, string, and bejeweled pendants; knitting needles, your favorite yarns, and your favorite mug for tea.
Whatever you need to create, whatever you need to brainstorm, whatever it is that fans the flames of your creative genius, gather it up and get it ready to go into the space.
4. Accessories. It’s time to set the mood for your space. Go wild here with candles, incense, beloved affirmations written on post-it notes, a mirror, strings of lights, drapes, matchbooks, airplants and fresh flowers, sea glass, chocolates, pillows, a soft blanket, old perfume bottles, your favorite books, crosses, pentagrams, ankhs—whatever you desire and anything that will be a feast for the senses.
5. Assemble with intention and intuition. Don’t think too much about the order of things. Assemble the space how you want to assemble it; put it together the way you want it to look. Use thumbtacks and tape to hang art or handwritten mantras on the wall. Hammer in nails so that your vision board stays put. String lights around the corners to illuminate the space and create a soft halo of light around you and all of your treasures. Hang curtains or put up a partition for privacy. Put fresh flowers in a vase and incense sticks in a mason jar.
Let the space speak for itself. Don’t put pressure on it to be perfect.
6. Make an altar. By definition, an altar is a sacred place where one goes to connect to the Divine. As for me, I use altars to not only pay homage to the Divine but to honor the beautiful things that I have collected, things that hold powerful significance in where I am currently in my journey. But of course, it depends on what the altar is for. I have an altar for Isis, for my wellbeing, for my bedside, for my tarot readings, and for the celebration of nature.
So ask yourself, who would you like this altar (or shrine) to celebrate/worship? Perhaps you can make an altar to yourself or to your inner child. Or maybe one to your creative genius or erotic muse. There are no rules to creating an altar, just bring with you materials and keepsakes that you feel can serve as an offering (or representation) to whomever you made the altar to (for instance, if it’s for your erotic muse, a shiva lingam stone and red rose petals might resonate).
Put your items on piece of fabric or a wooden plate and lay them out just so. Light a candle. Say a prayer. Give a bow.
7. Create a ritual. How do you want to enter your space? How would you like to honor the sacred area you’ve created for yourself? For me, I enter my space with comfortable clothes and bare feet.
Then, I burn some sage or palo santo wood to cleanse myself and the space. If I’m doing a reading, before ever taking out my deck, I’ll light all of the candles and some incense, and then begin to center myself as I play some music that grounds me. If I’m about to soul collage, I’ll meditate or pray before diving in. But usually the act of entering the space is enough to leave me feeling ready.
You might consider creating some kind of ritual for yourself whenever you step inside, one that gives the signal that the rest of the world has fallen away for a few minutes. Rituals (routines in general) are incredibly powerful, especially when they’re done with intention.
8. Rules and regulations. It’s so important that your sensual fort isn’t treated like any old space in the house. You’ve gone through great, concentrated efforts to create a blessed-by-you space. it’s important to respect it and keep it clean—both clutter-wise and energy-wise.
Some rules I have for my Goddess Space: no technology—laptops, television, video games, browsing the internet, etc. (the only thing I do allow is my cellphone, but there are boundaries in place with that); no “hanging out,” such as phone calls with friends or eating lunch inside. I also don’t allow just anyone inside of my space; I like to keep the energy clean by having me be the only person that frequents.
Now. . . your space is created. Here are some questions to ask yourself to go even deeper:
- How do I want this space to feel?
- What do I want this space to represent?
- What is the intention of this space?
- What am I going to call it?
- What will I do to keep my space sacred?
And a blessing for your sacred space, from me to you:
May this space be built in honor of your feminine wisdom. May it be a special safe haven for your sensual spirit to blossom.
and may you find the fullness and juiciness of yourself as you step inside.
Will you be making a sensual fort? If so, take a photograph of it via Instagram and tag it with #sensualfort. I’ll be tuning in and cheering you on.