Q: What Would You Do if You Could Live in the Body of Another Gender for a Day?


Occasionally, I’ll ask you a bold question & invite you to divulge your thoughts in the comment section.

Today’s burning question:

What would you do if you could live in the body of another gender for a day?

And what gender (or non-gender) would you choose to be?

Share your answers below. You can stay anonymous if you’d like.

And feel free to add any details in your comment that you feel might be relevant to your answer (your age, gender identity, orientation, relationship status, etc.).

Why You Must Never Fake Your Orgasm

I want to talk about the less-than-glamourous side of the sex. The side that perplexes, thwarts, & strains hope from us as sexual beings.

Let me set the scene. . .

Your heart has sent out a special intention to the universe for some sexual play to take place. You’ve trimmed your pubic hair, lit earthy-smelling incense, & anointed your body with oil. You’re wearing your best lacy things, or your best coy smile, or perhaps nothing at all. A record that coaxes out your most saucy carnal kitten plays softly in the background.

You lay your head against a soft pillow (or the crook of the rim on your bathtub), your hands strategically placed onto, over, within your most secret pleasure centers. You breathe in deeply, relaxing every part of your body. You’re ready & rearing to go.

And so you begin the voyage towards sexual release, dancing with the rise of energy building in the room & between your legs (& perhaps with your partner, if they’ve decided to take this trip with you). Waves of desire travel throughout your body, making every cell within you radiate with pleasure & longing.

Suddenly, your breath quickens, your vision blurs, your body fuzzy & slowly melting into the surface below you. The epic release is near; you can feel it, & you’re anticipating it, the grand finale of your erotic play.

But. . . nothing comes.

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You Cannot Be in Your Shame & in Your Orgasm Simultaneously

Note: This post was inspired by an image I came across on Facebook. I cannot find the original owner, so I don’t want to share it on my blog (out of respect for the artist). But you can view the picture here.


Making love or fucking under the pressure of your Critical Mind is one of the most energetically draining things we as humans partake in.

On the one hand, our body is ready to go, responding to stimulating visuals &/or passionate caresses. On the other, our Critical Mind is incessantly repeating falsehoods in our sub-conscious, making it so that we can’t even focus on the pleasure at hand.

“You aren’t worthy of pleasure.”
“Sex is dirty, sex is sinful, sex is wrong.”
“Your body is not lovable or fuckable.”
“You are not sexy.”
“You are being violated.” 

These phrases are the most common ones that enter my mind when I’m being sexually intimate or expressive. They take over my precious moments of erotic release with their hurtful, harmful sentiments, & from them, I feel nothing but shame.

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Sexual Energy is Creative Energy

“The artist’s experience lies so unbelievably close to the sexual. . .that the two phenomena are really just different forms of one & the same longing & bliss.”
—Rainer Maria Rilke

Sex is more than an act. It is an energy; a creative energy. This is the way it is coded inside of our bodies.

As we collide skins with our lovers, as we use our tongues to speak our carnal desires, as we play with our fantasies & boundaries, we are simultaneously co-creating with the universe. We are choreographing our legacies with spiritedness.

We should aim to play with sexual energy as creative energy like we were fingerpainting with light — joyful, lively, whimsical.

We are wild, creative, naturally succulent creatures. Our true selves come out like fervid exclamations when we are in the throes of sexual pleasure (at least they try to).

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An Open Letter: You Matter

I am a black, bisexual, able-bodied cis-female in a monogamous (but polycurious) partnership with a white, pansexual, able-bodied cis-male.

I have no perspective on what it means to be. . .

gender queer
a dyke
or, a trans woman/man.

But please know that. . .

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