True Friends Ask How the Sex is

I have sat in circles with women; danced, dined, & prayed with women. Women who I call sisters, women who are sisters, both by blood & by spiritual family of origin.

With the women I have known, we’ve seldom been hesitant to unfurl our souls or open our hearts with expansive vulnerability. We’ve seemed to be able to talk about everything if not most things: work, school, our future kids, our father’s indiscretions, the brand of conditioner we’re using.

We’ve spoken our truths in coffeeshops, on lumpy vintage couches, on long drives to the coast, under many different kinds of sky, against a plethora of backdrops. The scenery might change, but the conversations stay unwaveringly aimed at the heart of our immediate lives, always in the realm of our personal desires & inner battles.

But when it comes to matters of the sexual, we somehow find ourselves speaking vaguely, only slightly revealing slivers of truth about who we are sexually, what we are sensually hungry for.

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I Know Who I Am! Echos Within My Cave of Solitude


For over four months, I have been lying fallow, resting my weary soul to pay close attention to my desires & my dreams. In this process, I have been diving into more soulful, spiritual things—gods & goddesses, gemstones & moon phases, the deep inner dwellings of my psyche, the visions I have as I sleep—all in an attempt to better know myself.

Because for a moment there, I got side-tracked.

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Q: What Would You Do if You Could Live in the Body of Another Gender for a Day?


Occasionally, I’ll ask you a bold question & invite you to divulge your thoughts in the comment section.

Today’s burning question:

What would you do if you could live in the body of another gender for a day?

And what gender (or non-gender) would you choose to be?

Share your answers below. You can stay anonymous if you’d like.

And feel free to add any details in your comment that you feel might be relevant to your answer (your age, gender identity, orientation, relationship status, etc.).

Why You Must Never Fake Your Orgasm

I want to talk about the less-than-glamourous side of the sex. The side that perplexes, thwarts, & strains hope from us as sexual beings.

Let me set the scene. . .

Your heart has sent out a special intention to the universe for some sexual play to take place. You’ve trimmed your pubic hair, lit earthy-smelling incense, & anointed your body with oil. You’re wearing your best lacy things, or your best coy smile, or perhaps nothing at all. A record that coaxes out your most saucy carnal kitten plays softly in the background.

You lay your head against a soft pillow (or the crook of the rim on your bathtub), your hands strategically placed onto, over, within your most secret pleasure centers. You breathe in deeply, relaxing every part of your body. You’re ready & rearing to go.

And so you begin the voyage towards sexual release, dancing with the rise of energy building in the room & between your legs (& perhaps with your partner, if they’ve decided to take this trip with you). Waves of desire travel throughout your body, making every cell within you radiate with pleasure & longing.

Suddenly, your breath quickens, your vision blurs, your body fuzzy & slowly melting into the surface below you. The epic release is near; you can feel it, & you’re anticipating it, the grand finale of your erotic play.

But. . . nothing comes.

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You Cannot Be in Your Shame & in Your Orgasm Simultaneously

Note: This post was inspired by an image I came across on Facebook. I cannot find the original owner, so I don’t want to share it on my blog (out of respect for the artist). But you can view the picture here.


Making love or fucking under the pressure of your Critical Mind is one of the most energetically draining things we as humans partake in.

On the one hand, our body is ready to go, responding to stimulating visuals &/or passionate caresses. On the other, our Critical Mind is incessantly repeating falsehoods in our sub-conscious, making it so that we can’t even focus on the pleasure at hand.

“You aren’t worthy of pleasure.”
“Sex is dirty, sex is sinful, sex is wrong.”
“Your body is not lovable or fuckable.”
“You are not sexy.”
“You are being violated.” 

These phrases are the most common ones that enter my mind when I’m being sexually intimate or expressive. They take over my precious moments of erotic release with their hurtful, harmful sentiments, & from them, I feel nothing but shame.

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