Dear Men: You are Not “Horny Bastards”

“[Men] . . . you are Shiva, the Divine Masculine: unperturbable, totally loving, fully present, & all-pervading.” —David Deida

You’re always horny! You just want to get in my pants. God, is sex all you ever think about? I’m not surprised that’s what you want. You’re just thinking with your other brain. Get off of me, you horny bastard! What are you trying to do, rape me? You’re such a perv!

If you’re a man, you’ve likely had these things said to you by a woman.
If you’re a woman, you’ve likely uttered these words to a man.

Men, this isn’t coming from women in bars who stand ready to throw a drink in your face.
And women, you aren’t saying these things to drunken fools making deragatory remarks.

Men, these words are coming from your wife, your girlfriend, your gal pals.
Women, you are saying this to your boyfriend, your husband, your fiancé. 

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Today: Let’s Talk Sabbaticals, Sensuality, & Self-Love

// UPDATE: You can now watch the recorded workshop here!

This past October, I took a four month hiatus from my work to turn inward. I witnessed & realized many things while in my state of quietness, & I want to share everything with you now that I’m back with fresh eyes & an open heart.


The Importance of Lying Fallow
A Virtual Workshop
Today (3/1) @ 2pm Pacific / 5pm Eastern

I’ll be chatting candidly with you about my four month long hiatus from blogging (& why I took it), the inner journey I went on to “re-find” myself, & how you can create your own sanctuary for retreat—for now & for later.

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True Friends Ask How the Sex is

I have sat in circles with women; danced, dined, & prayed with women. Women who I call sisters, women who are sisters, both by blood & by spiritual family of origin.

With the women I have known, we’ve seldom been hesitant to unfurl our souls or open our hearts with expansive vulnerability. We’ve seemed to be able to talk about everything if not most things: work, school, our future kids, our father’s indiscretions, the brand of conditioner we’re using.

We’ve spoken our truths in coffeeshops, on lumpy vintage couches, on long drives to the coast, under many different kinds of sky, against a plethora of backdrops. The scenery might change, but the conversations stay unwaveringly aimed at the heart of our immediate lives, always in the realm of our personal desires & inner battles.

But when it comes to matters of the sexual, we somehow find ourselves speaking vaguely, only slightly revealing slivers of truth about who we are sexually, what we are sensually hungry for.

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I Know Who I Am! Echos Within My Cave of Solitude


For over four months, I have been lying fallow, resting my weary soul to pay close attention to my desires & my dreams. In this process, I have been diving into more soulful, spiritual things—gods & goddesses, gemstones & moon phases, the deep inner dwellings of my psyche, the visions I have as I sleep—all in an attempt to better know myself.

Because for a moment there, I got side-tracked.

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Q: What Would You Do if You Could Live in the Body of Another Gender for a Day?


Occasionally, I’ll ask you a bold question & invite you to divulge your thoughts in the comment section.

Today’s burning question:

What would you do if you could live in the body of another gender for a day?

And what gender (or non-gender) would you choose to be?

Share your answers below. You can stay anonymous if you’d like.

And feel free to add any details in your comment that you feel might be relevant to your answer (your age, gender identity, orientation, relationship status, etc.).