{via}
On a Saturday evening, I stood in a dimly lit club on the edge of Portland watching beautiful women dance with their bellies.
The dancers were heavily adorned, their bodies embellished with gold coins, weightless fabrics, & silver bangles that clanked with every twist of their arms. Long, beaded necklaces drooped from their necks, swaying in unison with the motion of their hips. Coy smiles & looks of divine pleasure played on every corner of their faces, displaying an unearthly kind of seductiveness.
And their bellies. My god, their bellies writhed, rolled, & coiled as if they had been momentarily possessed by a nest of snakes.
The spirit of their dance provoked little goosebumps on my skin, giving me a sensation that resembled one hundred tiny orgasms.
I had never witnessed anything so overtly sensual.
There were a variety of dancers that evening; they came in all shapes, colors, & sizes. But it was the women that had full, round bellies that aroused me most.
The ensorcellment of quaking hips, the ripples of skin, the thickness of thighs; I was mesmerized at the sight of these voluptuous creatures, relishing in their movements, wishing I could attain their buxom bellies.
What a far cry from the person I was only two hours before, when I stood in front of my bathroom mirror grimacing as I looked at the curves of my own belly & hips.
Oh, how I’ve loathed my body, how I’ve resented the way my skin camouflaged my skinny bones, expanding, thickening, rippling.
After decades of thinness, of fat scarcity, of being called “lanky” & “anorexic,” my body transformed quite instantly from a malnourished adolescent to that of unadulterated womanness.
I’ve spent the last few years reeling from this sudden shift of weight, desperately trying to make peace with my body. Mainly, my belly, which has been the source of great & unreasonable self-hatred.
I’ve done & considered many things to get this one detested feature of my body to a flatness wholly accepted by American society: vegan diets, skipping meals, an obsession to lose five pounds, prolonged juice fasts, deprivation of delicious things — cheese, butter, sugar, cream; all have been done to punish my body for its naturalness & to rob it of its femme voluptuousness.
For years I have treated my precious temple like prison tower, condemning its essence & starving it of unconditional love.
I reflected on all these things as the tribal sounds of doumbeks flooded my ears, commiserating the harshness I had endured at my own hand, acknowledging my self-disgust & body dysmorphia.
My head was heavy as the belly dance performance continued on, the drums growing louder, stronger.
I watched as the next dancer glided onto the stage, her glorious hips taking the lead. She was beautiful; dark, long hair, olive-colored skin. She housed a sensual aura that stunned the entire room. Her stature was larger than the other dancers, & I remember feeling awed by her bravery to stand before a crowd of nearly a hundred people scantily clad, her lavish curvatures of skin displayed with no shame.
With slow movements of power & grace, she began to dance & circle her hips, closing her eyes, lifting her hands, shaking her dark hair. The expression on her face was that of both ecstasy & serenity, of bliss & absolute contentment.
And then the circles became bigger, faster, ardent. With each oscillation her skin bunched & trembled in the most gorgeous way, leaving the crowd breathless. We could not take our eyes off of her & they remained on her until she ended her performance, exiting the stage.
Her gyrations were left me feeling intoxicated. Of all the dancers & performers I saw that evening, she, the one with the wide hips & the round, full belly, was the one I adored most. She was the one I found to be most beautiful.
The way she moved her body, the manner in which her hips vibrated, the look of absolute pleasure on her face… I was utterly attracted to her. I want to be her. I wanted to bottle up her essence, her self-possession, & drink it up amorously.
This woman, who went so completely against society’s standards of beauty, who was the adversary of my ego & the epitome of everything I loathed within myself, was flawlessly, quintessentially Woman.
I heard my mind whisper, Her belly is round like mine, & she is beautiful.
Which translated into: My belly is round like hers, & I am beautiful.
Within seconds of this euphoric realization, I began to fall passionately in love with my own body. Deeply. Fully. Unconditionally.
By happenstance, through the brazen sensual expressions of bellies moving like serpents, I came to worship my glorious folds of skin, the pudge, the delicious pockets of fat that make up my feminine physique.
My belly is now the most celebrated feature on my body. I hold it, rub it, cradle it. Its roundness is a symbol of my inherent abundance; its fullness is confirmation that I am healthy, strong, nourished, & contented.
I carry a fire inside of my belly. Within in it is the essence of my newfound womanhood.
_____________
I dedicate this post to my new friend Shara, whose sensual movements in her belly dance that night helped give way to the reconciliation of my own body. Namely, my belly, which looks similar to hers: brown, beautiful, sensual, & full.
amazing piece! so well written and I loved the exuberance of womanly beauty that it exuded :D great read
Wow…I am soooo touched by this…crying actually. Your words touch a very deep place within me. I am also a bellydancer. I have struggled with the societal pressures of being super fit as a performing artist. I have gone back and forth between tapping into my Goddess self and then reverting back to the need for bodily perfection. This ingenious piece of art that you’ve written has solidified my need to let go of ALL OF THAT BS and be totally IN my body…happy with it…IN LOVE WITH IT…and also, and MOST importantly….HONORING IT!
I want to meet you if possible. You sound amazing! I am not a Twitter-er…but obviously I need to be! Do you live in Oregon?
My gratitude for this piece of writing runs deep. THANK YOU – THANK YOU – THANK YOU!!!
Yemaya
Lovely!! I FEEL your words come to life!
Absolutely beautiful, my dear, as always. I’ve had those moments of realization only to find they’re short-lived. Perhaps if I could fall harder and deeper in love with my body I would find it more lasting when I do.
We love you too! :)
i hear you. in my experience it is more than this. It is how a belly is inhabited that makes it beautiful and/or sexy.
I have met/see women who by every technical account should be incredibly attractive and yet nothing could be less appealing due to their own veneer of body love covering something rotten beneath.
I have seen women be quite big indeed who are fearless in their body and that comes off them like perfume off a flower and it is sexy
I have seen women with a mild paunch and her posture and carriage makes her unsexy.
Knowing how to inhabit that body and what to do with it goes a long way. Bellies are not inherently sexy. If The belly dancer you saw lay dead on the ground the belly would be less sexy. We love and are attracted to loving attention and consciousness.
A most excellent and well-written article. It was such a joy to read it.
Lovely article. I dance with a troupe of “bigger” girls and our leader, Jen, is one of the most beautiful and sensual dancers I’ve ever seen! Embrace your curves as they are just a small part of your overall beauty :)
Coming from the point of view of a man… women’s bellies are beautiful and erotic. I think more women need to embrace their curves. Us guys have no problem with them. :)
I agree with Jonathan. All curves on a woman are cute and should be celebrated. I have a weird reaction when a woman has more defined abs than me.
Shara,
Your post is amazing and touching. I was so captivated by your descriptions and your realizations. Thank you for your bravery in loving yourself just the way you are. You are a great example of how women should feel in their bodies…what should be accepted by American society.
Hey Heather, I am so glad you enjoyed the post.
Although… “Shara” is who I dedicated this post to. My name is Ev`Yan, & I am the author of this blog.
Just wanted to clarify. :]
Thanks so much for your comment. It’s lovely to meet you!
Yes, Ev’Yan! Thank you for this amazingly brilliant and touching article. And the dedication, I heart you!
Ev’Yan,
This post is an absolute treasure and not only am I floored, delighted, humbled, overjoyed and brought to tears, but I am reminded of a beautiful Arabic saying that I have said to women in my classes many times before:
“A woman without a belly is like a sky without stars.”
Love your journey and so happy that our paths have crossed.
Thank You So Much for your kind and beautiful words! They brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. I was the producer of the show you attended : ) I feel such honor to dance alongside amazing women and such a deeep connection to the sacred and ancient art of Belly Dance. I feel that it is A TRUE CELEBRATION OF WOMEN – our Raw and Oragnic Creative Potential and all that goes along with it, Beauty, Power, Grace, Softness, Strength and CURVY BELLIES!! To know that sharing what I am most passionate about with others is helping to bring about healing and self-love makes it ALL THE MORE WORTH IT!! Thank You So Much!
XOXOXO Sedona
Sedona,
I absolutely remember you & your beautiful body at the show on Saturday! Your belly was the first that enamored me; so graceful & erotic. Thank you so much for sharing your art with the world.
I deeply, deeply appreciate you leaving words on my blog. This post is most definitely dedicated to you, as well.
xx.
I agree with everything that has been said, we should celebrate our bodies and our curves.. However, not all bellydancers are women. Many, Many dancers are men, and just as wonderful and powerful, curves and all. I feel slightly saddened and slighted when I read comments or articles and there is no mention of the wonder of a male dancer, or the same senses of amazement over a male dancer.
I feel Dance is a celebration of our bodies, of just BEING.. male or female.
I will be sharing this blog with a handful of women I know who are obsessed with working out specifically to get flat stomachs. Hopefully, this post will help them to see the beauty in their round bellies.
It’s interesting to me that when looking at old paintings from centuries ago (or even several decades ago), women were often depicted with much rounder bellies. Our fairly new obsession with flat stomachs is quite peculiar.
YES! Thank you for mentioning this, because it was on the tip of my tongue when writing this post; I just didn’t get around to speaking of this.
The way women were depicted in paintings several centuries ago was simply stunning. My mind instantly thinks of the painting The Birth of Venus, which shows the sensuality & glorifies the womanhood that lives in curves of skin.
Thanks for your comment, Jessica.
I really am so happy to read this entry as I tend to look at my belly and feel disgusted…lol. I have wanting to take a belly dance class myself and get in touch with my body. I want to love my body fully and be happy :) Thanks for writing this!
Thank you so much for this amazing piece! I am pregnant and have had a hard time dealing with the changes that my body has been going through. This post touched me deeply. Thank you so much for your beautiful words.
As usual, you’re speaking my language, Ev’Yan! I’ve always had curves, but after a myomectomy and two C-sections, I fell out of love with my belly; particularly my stretch marks. They’ve long been a source of shame for me, and it wasn’t until the past two years that I sat with my actions, my words, and my daughters, and began to realize how much it was costing me to assign a negative meaning to a part of my body. Add to that the reality that my daughters take their body image cues in part from me, and I had no choice but to reclaim all of my body, stretch marks and all.
I shared my mind and body markings here:
http://execumama.blogspot.com/2010/03/self-love-by-way-of-stretch-marks.html
I’m on that journey, and your words are a salve. Gratitude.
I love your post. It helped me see that I am beautiful with this full figure body of mine. My stomach isn’t big bug I do love it and I’m growing to love all of me. Thanks again for that post
Great article! I struggle with loving my big, round belly and curves too; but as i grow older my confidence grows as well. I agree with matthew when he said “Knowing how to inhabit that body and what to do with it goes a long way.” self-confidence is key to sexy-ness.
I love your point of view!!! I´m an oriental dancer and I´m very touch with your article. We need to embrace who we are and be happy.Thank you!
I absolutely adore this. As someone who’s struggled with having a round belly most of her life, I can deeply relate to the intense feeling of self acceptance and self love that gets imparted to you from watching someone who’s completely comfortable with themselves. It’s a gift that should be shared more often. :]
Hello thought I would chime in since I am the biggest gal in Soulfire and in that show:) I absolutely loved your article and truly appreciate your ability to relate a story I have heard so many times in my career. The wonderful art of Bellydance is not without it’s downfall of body image pressures. We do put ourselves out there to a wide audience and undoubtedly get feedback from those who see beauty differently. But for ALL the times I have been told that I would be a great dancer if I could lose a few pounds there has been a woman with tears in her eyes telling me I have given her a reason to love herself. See I can worry about how costumes are fitting on a given day but I am very aware what my confidence and joy with this dance can offer. Thank you so much for speaking your truth and am sure you have inspired many.
Much love,
Claudia
Claudia,
I so appreciate you taking the time to speak on this post, & I hope you realize that it was YOUR dance specifically that prompted me to accept my body, & it was your body that was gushing over near the end of this post.
And it wasn’t just me who walked away feeling changed & infatuated. At the risk of putting words in his mouth, I have to say that my husband was rather taken by you as well, & found you to be the most beautiful dancer of the evening.
You are such a gorgeous woman, full of so much grace & femininity. There is just something about you, love, & I am so, so grateful for not only getting up the nerve to go to the show — I almost flaked out — but for witnessing the power of your dance.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
xx.
What a beautiful and expressive story. I love your writing and I love the message you are conveying. Being a belly dancer myself, of the curvier persuasion – I truly appreciate your love for these women. I am them, and they are me.
I especially love your transformation. Incredible!
What a beautifully written article. It went straight to the very heart (or belly) of me! Thank you for sharing such amazing insight. A huge help to me and inspiring. x
You still seem skinny to me! You have an athletic body. Strong shoulders.. Like that of a swimmer. But I can relate because after age 25, my body naturally gained some weight and my waist expanded. I hated it.
I love bellydancing! To see it and to do it. I just took a class this morning! Trying to get back into the gym and eating more healthy. I am always self conscious of my belly but for some reason I let it all out in bellydance class in full confidence! It is the only circumstance where I truly feel comfortable and beautiful and SEXY with my belly. Bellydancing just doesn’t seem to look as great with tight flat tummies! It’s a really empowering workout. You should try it :) And I should try poledancing!!
From an interview of Rachel Brice conducted by Kajira, 2004:
http://www.blacksheepbellydance.com/writings/files/rachelb.html
K: The first bellydancers you saw were Hahbi ‘Ru. Please tell us about that experience.
R: Actually, mom tells a story about me when I was five.
Julie: We went to a friend’s party where there was a bellydancer, and Rachel wouldn’t stop following her the whole evening after her show! She was mesmerized! She thought of her as “the magic woman.”
R: I remember the carpet she had to dance on. I went as close as I could to the edge and looked up at her. Everything about it was so beautiful, I loved it all! I remember the feeling, if not the actual
vision. But the first dancers I really remember well were Hahbi ‘Ru.
I went to the Northen California Renaissance Pleasure Faire when I was about 16, in 1988, and saw them. I thought immediately “I have to do that!”
There was one woman in particular that I will never forget. John (Compton) remembers her name, but I don’t. She was a substantial woman,
not of the conventionally beautiful figure I was used to, by Southern California standards. She did a solo and blew me away. She had such incredible posture, movements, grace. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It still makes me cry when I think about it (Rachel’s eyes are teary as she speaks). I mean, she would do these incredible,
huge hip locks and everything just shook! There was a moment when she turned around and looked over her shoulder at the audience as if to say, “I know you like what you see, ‘cause what I got goin’ on is damn
good!” This was eye-opening for me, as I thought you could only feel beautiful when you fit the conventional mold. I’d bought that idea up to that point, and had some body-image problems, not an actual disorder, I didn’t throw up or purge or binge or anything, and I wasn’t anorexic, but I bordered on a problem, tripping on what I was eating. I
knew it was not healthy, and to see this woman that others do not think of as “classically beautiful,” strutting like a supermodel, was amazing. I didn’t know what was going on, I was so moved, tears were
just streaming down my cheeks. And then John came out and he’s so gorgeous with his blue eyes and kohl, and his dancing! I went home and looked up bellydance immediately.
This is an absolutely beautiful piece of writing, and I love the sentiment here very much. But… I’m also concerned. You’re writing about Shara, from Bellydance Soulfire? Who has also modeled for Dahlal? This dancer? http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4142/4753509118_42231ae20c.jpg
Shara’s body is not a body most of us would struggle to accept — hers is a body many of us strive to achieve. A perfect specimen of womanly beauty, and an unattainable ideal for many of us (especially if we’ve had children).
I agree that it’s terribly unhealthy to strive for an even flatter belly than Shara’s. But can we still not learn to love bodies that are less than this ideal role model?
Hi Lauren,
Thank you so much for your question. I’m happy to answer it, as I realize that in reading this post it’s quite vague about who I’m referring to.
For the record, the woman whose dance moved me to accept my body is NOT Shara (though Shara’s dance was impeccably stunning, which is one of the reasons I dedicated the post to her — taking absolutely nothing again from her!).
On the contrary, I am speaking about Claudia Hildreth, who is in the Soulfire troupe alongside with Shara. I didn’t want to put any of the dancers on blast, but you asked, so there you go. :]
I dedicated this post to Shara because she so lovingly invited me to this belly dance event. Without her invitation, I would have not attended that event, & this post (& the *amazing* response from it) would have never happened.
I agree with everything you said in your comment & am glad to bring some clarity about who I was talking to. I just hope that Claudia doesn’t mind.
xx.
I’m kind of relieved! I was really worried about the kind of anorexia and self-loathing that would make someone think Shara had a round belly. LOL Claudia is also extremely beautiful, though I can see she has a fuller figure than Shara.
Many of my students are quite a bit heavier than either of those women; all are absolutely beautiful when they dance. xoxo
This article moves me so because I AM one of those LOVELY Full Figured Belly Dancers, or should I say. I AM a Belly Dancer a REAL Belly Dancer, and I wish the world could see through your loving eyes. Here is a link to my most recent video which was BADLY “Trolled” with people saying things like they couldn’t even make it through the first couple of seconds, and that I should kill myself because of how horribly fat I am. http://www.youtube.com/user/ravenxxx13?feature=mhee
I have performed MANY times in front of Resteraunts, FULL of people, Gala shows, and for some reason there are no harsh words on those videos. But this one where I am in a beautiful park surrounded by nature being in my truest form, I am ridiculed.This was also after I had undergone back to back brain surgeries and HAD my comeback performance and even one other after it! and yet somehow in full costume, in a beautiful park at sunset my appearance becomes something horrifying….-shakes head- it was appalling to say the least (obviously I removed the comments but you can see the bad votes on the video)
I am SO glad to hear that there are new people every day seeing Belly dancers and learning what we have learned (not all of us, some are still held down by the confines of weight) But we learn to love ourselves, and once we get to that point, we find it is not so hard to walk out on a stage in front of a huge crowd of people with are round jiggly stomachs for all to see and PURPOSEFULLY making them jiggle and vibrate, we know that the crowd adores our dances otherwise they would not be there, and in that shining moment I can tell you, the LAST thing I feel is fat <3
My goodness, Lyssa. You are *beautiful!*
At the risk of overt frankness, I must say: fuck the haters (not literally, of course!).
After all, what would belly dancing be without a belly? ;]
Aww thank you!!! And yes I started dancing for Just that reason, because I wanted to LEARN to love myself. I will ALWAYS be a curvy woman, it is the way I am built, so I say “If you got it..Flaunt it!” I just don’t get people sometimes when they chose to be so cruel to someone who has gone against the odds and stands tall strong and beautiful.
I wanted to share with you what happened to me today, honestly it hurts so much I don’t even know what to do..And you are such an inspiration, I thought perhaps you could help me understand this…
Today I was spammed again today and I wanted to share with you what was said. It actually made me physically ill because the person saying these cruel words to me claimed they were a Belly dance Instructor. And I KNOW that you wrote this lovely piece about Bellies and the beauty and wonder of them in their full and most graceful form, and to think that there is a woman out there spreading this kind of malice and hate is unfathomable. That she is telling her “supposed” students that you should only have a LITTLE bit of a belly if you are to dance otherwise you are a fat disgusting disgrace to us all makes me ill.
Here is her comment to me (there was a worse one that I didn’t grab, I just deleted it right away, though this is bad enough)
“You say you’re healthy and fit but if that were the case, why are you not toned? Belly dancers have very toned bodies and a tiny bit of belly. You’re flabby stomach is just distracting and not graceful and that’s coming from a belly dancing teacher.”
The post she did on my main youtube page was in a similar vein of that my “disgusting flab was so distracting and nauseating that she could not even see the movements” it was horrendous. And this woman claims to have been dancing a year longer then I AND a teacher for 4 years. I share this with you because your blog and the comments I received when sharing my story with you brought me to tears of joy. Such love and acceptance. Before when I was “trolled” it was mostly young guys, teenagers, boys being cruel, this is from a woman, a “fellow belly dancer” and Teacher.
Note I have NOT confirmed that she is a real teacher, nothing on her page shows her as such. But if she is I feel sorry for anyone in her classes.
Lyssa, you are HOT! I mean it with all my heart when I tell you that you’ve shifted my perspective on weight. I called my husband over to watch you as well, and his words were “As I watch, I become less interested in her weight, and more intrigued by how beautifully she dances!” You make me want to get out my old belly dancing videos and get my Lyssa on! Keep going, honey, you are beautiful!
OMG you all are making me cry! This is the SWEETEST thing! TO even have your Husband come over and see me for the dancer that I am and NOT the plus sized woman. I have been wanting to teach online lessons to all those that want them for free so that more women (and men) around the world can start to learn to dance and MAYBE get that confidence to go out to a studio or drum circle. Get to a place where YOU can step on the stage and perform. No matter what those haters say or said I STILL got on stage, still worked it, and I will again and again. I have like 3-4 performances in the fall, so feel free to fan my page and see the videos and such from those performances. plus and here is the interesting thing. I may be “fat” but I am healthier then someone half my size. I can dance HARD for HOURS and I don’t get winded or have to rest or anything. Dancing is as easy as walking but burns as many calories as running, so basically it;s like a High impact low impact dance form. And trust me a LOT of people think just because they are cute and thin and have the perfect costumes that they are good. I can pretty much crack a walnut with my abs, even though I have a beautiful soft round belly :)
Lyssa, I saw your video in the park, and it was fantastic. I’m quite impressed with the way your ‘in body’ work is nice and smooth, but the movements are kept very small and tight. I’ve been dancing for about eight years now, and have certainly developed an eye for moves! You and I have a very similar figure. You have a bit more va vaoom going at the top, but otherwise, very similar. I enjoyed watching your videos, because I can see from the audience perspective. When I watch playback of shows -kve done, I don’t get to truly enjoy them as I’m too wrapped up in identifying technical errors and costume malfunctions.
You mentioned this video was done after recovering from medical procedure. I have just returned to rehearsal after being ‘down’ for nine months due to surgery and treatment for cancer. I am slated to perform next month and would appreciate any words of wisdom you might offer.
I know that although I am ‘actual size’, dancing has left me quite healthy, and it made all the difference in the world when I went through treatment. I would very much enjoy hearing from you if you have the oportunity and inclination!
Reverend Jack
Thank you, I appreciate when someone else can see the hard work I put into my dancing. I actually had brain surgery in October, back to back surgeries actually and sadly developed a neuralgia condition because of it. So when I was about 41/2-5 months post op I danced for 2 hours to an Unmata DVD and figured I was ready for a comeback. I decided on a song that I felt would be perfect and represented how I felt, and what I went through. I covered my head with a veil, and took the audience through my journey of the surgery. In the middle of the song I removed the veil, to show I had no visible scars, I have hair and and am healthy and strong. That I was walking from a place of recovery and stepping into a place of being a Survivor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr9v2pqRnQc
That is the video of that performance. I would just suggest do what feels right to you, make light of it like the owner of the studio did when she recovered from breast cancer, while her hair was still growing back she dyed it leopard print and had an ENTIRE leopard print costume including custom isis wings. So like I said it is different for everyone, find a song that speaks to you and all will fall into place.
I will love my belly, and all of me!!! Thank You for this inspiration!!!!
A beautiful article!! I am working on a one-person show about that very journey from loathing to loving my belly as a bellydancer. I am also part of PURE which has a unique show and workshop series called PURE Reflections: Beauty Reimagined which we take to dance communities around the world. Through a week of intense rehearsals examining body love, we produce a magnificent show. See our promo video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQiRa8yhjjs And please vote for us to win a grant from Pepsi to continue this work!! http://www.refresheverything.com/purereflections
wow that is stunning. I wish I could have been a part of that. Wonderful work <3
Beautiful! I feel beautiful…abundantly round belly and all! I was brought to tears thinking of all the times I have felt inadequate due to my pudgy tummy. I love it when words bring me back to reality!
Beautiful piece, so touching. Love how you equate the beauty of the dancer’s belly with the beauty of your own. Round bellies are beautiful and display all of our womanliness and motherhood in them.
Oh… so lovely and surely resonating with so many of us. Thank you for taking the time to share such visceral experience with us.
After years of photographing women, I cannot tell you how many times I hear these words “I don’t like my belly, can we not photograph it or retouch it away.”
And I can honest to goddess say, with my artistic eye, many women would not be women if it werent’ for the flesh, the hips and the round belly. Curve is good. Substance, dimensionality, power, softness, fluidity, animal, sensuality, are all words that comes to mind when I think the movement of women with curves.
Belly is the center of the universe, yours, mine, the world. Therein lives the fire. If the fire dies, we are nothing. Thus, what we feed it, literally, metaphorically, how we move it with breath and movement, and how we embrace it and hold it, as in posture, is indeed significant. Hail to the belly. Hail to you dear heart for shedding light on this simply crucial part of our being – the belly.
You and I – so much in common its uncanny. Hope to cross paths in person some day. Where do you live ?
it’s funny…my belly what I focus on the most. However, when I am with a man, whether in his 20′s or in his 30′s…they find me and my belly attractive. Somewhere I gathered maybe it comes from a sense of confidence. I have been super skinny, I have be overweight…I’m right in the middle now…Yet I will wear a two piece swimsuit in public, comepletely revieling my belly with all it’s stretch marks from carrying two beautiful babies….I am proud, and I think that dispite the idea that I am not perfect, I am beautiful in my own eyes cause I embrace my imperfect belly…and that traslates to the men who look at me.
Your words are beautiful and inspiring! I embraced my belly and curves a few years ago and boy oh boy was that empowering! My belly has stretch marks from carrying three beautiful children. They are my badges of honor that depict the strength of my body and I will not be ashamed or hide them away any longer. This new-found courage makes me feel sexy…I *am* sexy.
I have always loved the fact that even when I was younger and at the height of my physical fitness I never had a flat tummy. I reveled in the soft gentle slope of the skin that was home to the root of my femininity, my womb. I gloried in the response I enticed from the boys who melted like ice when their hands caressed my belly and they said “I love how you have some softness to you”. Even now when I am on a journey to restore health and fitness to my life, my biggest fear is loosing my curves. They are my divine right as a woman and I love and them.
Bodies are beautiful. Especially bodies in motion, Yahla!
Wow!! What a FANTASTIC article!!! Really made me think… I have always had a ‘pot’ belly and after 3 caesareans it’s something I have really despised about myself… This is food for thought (and perhaps I need to take up belly dancing, which I have always thought looks like such fun!!)
It is quite strange that one must look fragile and powerless in order to be considered sexy…..
There is a reason why Marilyn Monroe = Sexy….she had curves!
First time commenter, by the way. I love this blog but really this post in particular really touched me. I have always a round belly, thick thighs and so forth. I am still struggling to love my body and since I had a knee injury (and still in therapy) last July my body has been pissing me off. But reading this post has helped me step back from my neuroses and looking at other women as being better looking and be proud to have the body I have. I don’t know if I’m at a point where I truly believe I’m sexy and attractive but daily affirmations definitely help. Thanks for creating such a great blog!
I love your writing. You are the voice of LIBERATION. My heart and soul always feel liberated when i read your work. i thank you for modeling to me.