An Open Letter to Women Who Squirt

woman lying back in pink water

Photo by Edie Sunday

A study came out recently by way of the Journal of Sexual Medicine where a group of French researchers were trying to scientifically understand (i.e., debunk) the “controversial” nature and origin of squirting—a.k.a., female ejaculation.

What they found in their study of 7 women between the ages of 18-56 was this:

“[S]quirting is essentially the involuntary emission of urine during sexual activity.”

Now, I have all kinds of problems with this study—their use of only 7 women in their research; their calling squirting “controversial”; and the implication that scientists know women’s bodies better than women know their bodies themselves. And I have even more of an issue with their findings (pee?—really, scientists? How about you tell that to my Skene’s gland).

But I’m not going to write about that (though I did have a nice vent on Facebook about this).

Instead, what I want to do is write a little letter of love and support to all the squirters on this planet. Because something tells me that this study will cause many women to feel goo-gobs of shame about their orgasm and question the way their body expresses pleasure.

So this is for them.
It’s also for me, a woman who squirts.

***

Dear Women Who Squirt:

A study came out recently that says that your ejaculation—also called by the ancient Taoists ambrosia—is urine. You might be as pissed off about this as I am. Or maybe you feel confused because this doesn’t speak at all to your experience of orgasm.

Or. . . maybe you’re feeling a little grossed out and are inching toward never having a gushing orgasm again.

Here’s what I want to say to you, no matter what your response to this ridiculous news is:

Do not let scientists tell you about the way your beautiful body expresses and experiences pleasure.

Don’t let doctors do it.
Don’t let psychologists do it.
Don’t let your boyfriend or your wife do it.

You are the expert of your body. You are the expert of your juicy orgasm. No one else.

Please, do not allow people with fancy degrees and uppercase letters after their names contradict what you inherently know to be true in your body, in your yoni. Do not let them impose their beliefs onto you.

Remember: It was doctors who told you that your clitoral orgasm was “immature.” It was doctors who continued to debate (and still do to this very day!) the existence of your g-spot and its orgasms. It was doctors who called your sexual urges a form of hysteria and prescribed hysterectomies as a cure.

So you see, scientists, doctors, psychologists, people of power, can be wrong.

Please don’t take their word for it.

Take your body’s word for it. That is the only voice that matters.

If anything anyone ever says about your orgasm sounds contrary to your own common sense and body experience—like that your orgasm is controversial—chuck it in the garbage.*

And please, continue to squirt. Continue giving yourself sweet, exquisite, incredible gushing orgasms—yes, even if it is urine (and it very most likely isn’t). That is one fun way to fight ignorance and falsehood.

But especially, celebrate your orgasm and the way that you come, whether it’s gushing or vaginal or clitoral or cosmic.

Sincerely yours,

Ev’Yan
(a woman who squirts)

*Which is precisely what I’m going to do with the information found in this study.

Reader Question: Clitoral Orgasm vs. Vaginal Orgasm

(art by Sophia Wallace) Occasionally, I get a question from a reader that is compelling enough to become its own article. This is one of those questions. Hi Ev’Yan, Now that I’ve truly awakened my sensual self and am laying my sexual demons to rest, I am still having a difficult time achieving clitoral and/or… Read More

What Sexual Liberation Is & Isn’t

Beyoncé, to me, embodies sexual liberation. But hers isn’t the only actualization / via We Heart It I’ve been writing about my sexual awakening and experiences here for almost four years, and it’s taken me in as much time to understand that sexual liberation isn’t just about having great sex with multiple orgasms, nor is it about finding… Read More

11 Erotic Intentions I’m Making for 2015

On New Year’s Eve, I sat crosslegged in my Goddess Space, with super-chill music playing in my ears, & worked gingerly through my Review, Reflect, Release workbook. When I came to the section about creating intentions for the new year, I wrote down all kinds of random big wishes: APL (arm-pit length) hair; get further into… Read More

© 2017 SLL / Fueled by orgasm and fierce self-care